How to stay safe when dating online?

Finding soul mate through dating online, sure can be surreal in today’s era but one has to take precautionary measures because the internet is still full of creeps.

Here are a few things that would help you make it easy.

Dos:

1. Be honest yet crisp

When you are done looking at other profiles and have a fair idea of what’s going on, you can start your own journey on an online dating portal. Write a short yet crisp bio of you. They need key points and things that might interest them. So, stick to basics and try not to write your autobiography.

2. Be realistic

When you write about yourself make sure you are being clear about what you want. Do not makeup stuff about you and write it just to please others. Using your ideas for attracting people to your profile is one thing you need to be well versed with. Like, be creative in your own way and attract people. But, don’t go about making stuff about you to come off as something more than what you are.

3. Better pictures

The pictures which you upload on an online dating app/website should make things very clear; they should be reflecting your persona and your body at the same time. Also, the most important thing, your picture should be one that was recently clicked and not one of your old pictures where you don’t look like the recent you.

Pictures where in you are seen happy and not a close-up is what you need. Group photos should be avoided.

4. Take your time

Avoid being impulsive and take your time to choose. You need to feel comfortable and secure. It is normal to be scared to meet someone new (strangers). But if you are avoiding meeting people it will be best that you quit the online dating part of it. Don’t be hasty about meeting anyone unless you really feel you are in for it.

Calling could help you out a bit, easing you out before you meet the person and feel a little calm. Also, it helps you gauge the personality and compatibility with your perspective. If you do not feel like meeting post the call, you can cancel the meeting.

5. Tell a friend

Not everyone is a good person. It is our choice after all, but you need to make sure that there is no harm in meeting the person you are about to meet. You should be smart and careful when you are dating online.

It is best that you tell a friend before you meet someone from an online dating app/site. Tell all the details about when, where and until what time would you be meeting this person. You can also drop messages during your date, this helps to keep a track of how things are going. The contact information of this person could be shared to make more room for safety.

6. Meet outside (not at someone’s house)

This one is for safety. Meet at a public place, maybe a coffee shop, restaurant or a park where there will be people milling around and if something ever happens you can call for help. If your first date goes well, you can think of another. But it is best that you don’t invite the person home or go to their place for the first time.

7. Start with messages

Frequent messaging will get you some information on how that person is. His thoughts and attitude would be reflected eventually. This is the process when you set up your initial date.

8. It’s not only the looks

The chemistry you have with your partner is not only based on looks. Looks are the most exciting thing in the beginning but you will soon realize that it is the other things that are more important. We can fall for a person who is attractive because that is a human trait. No one can resist themselves from going for the beautiful things first. But, with looks, we should also keep this in mind that, if the personality is as beautiful as their looks.

9. Be open to thoughts

When you choose online dating, it can be difficult initially. Be open about your thoughts, your mind will send you impulses about the person and you should be able to rely on them. But be careful, don’t be impulsive and choose to declare a yes or a no to the person instantly.

10. Some people are better in person

The virtual world can be deceiving at times. When you see a very flat description of a person on their profile, you discard meeting them. But sometimes the most boring bio of a person turns out to be written by a most interesting person in real life. There are people who might lack online presence but would be great fun in person.

11. Meet them over a coffee than a drink

If you are meeting someone for the first time, you don’t want to get drunk. That would spoil the whole memory of the date and would ruin a few other things maybe. It will also put you under the wrong impression of that person. You might miss out on the little signs and gestures which, you might have not skipped if you were completely sober. You can choose to drink when you know each other well.

12. Set some sort of an agenda/plan for dates

Some choose online dating as an option for passing time, some choose it seriously. The latter would have goals that they have been dreaming of in a relationship. So, you can set up goals or plans for the way you and your partner would want to go about the whole day. Like, you can decide your plans on the bases of your relationship.

13. Try experimenting with different sites

You should know your purpose before you choose your perfect app/website. If you are clear about what you want, you will know where you are getting the best. There is a thin line between a dating app and an app for getting easy sex.

Don’ts:

1. Lie or use superlatives

You should opt for being realistic and true to the person you are looking to date. It is somewhat true that most of them who are using online dating lie. But you should be true and expect the truth. Look for positive alternatives for your down points and be up front where required.

2. Put yourself in a vulnerable position

Going to a stranger’s house for the first meeting is a big NO. Also, you don’t need to invite the person you are meeting for the first time to your house. It will only make you more vulnerable.

3. Give in easily

The other person might try to convince you to have a drink or crash at their place post your date. Do not give in to such pressures. It is your take and you should stick to it. If you are telling them no would let them down it is alright. Do not be let down by it.

4. Settle easily

There might be things you don’t like about the person you are dating. It is fine. Look for more options and you might get the right person soon. It is a dumb thing to settle for someone whom you don’t like.

5. Overthink or be judgmental

You might find people who are not perfect. Well, who is? There are a variety of people and you need to be the best judge of what shortcomings can you fulfill when you are in a relationship. It is a give and take system.

6. Look for the exact copy of your dream

There will be different people and different traits that they carry. It is not necessary to get all that you want or need. Chemistry is more important than the certain things that you like. There will be some similar interests, but you need to look for them. It is not always that, you get what you are looking for.

7. Make the person wait for long

It is not good to keep someone waiting, after you have been texting back and forth online. It is good to give importance to the other person. You might find it difficult to break out of your comfort zone but do it.

8. Be pessimistic

Be open to what you are and how someone would be lucky to be with you. Also, keep reminding yourself of this thought. Don’t change as per to someone’s liking.

9. Too much expectation

Don’t expect too much from the first two or three dates. Remember that, nobody gets the sparks in the first meeting or falls in love at first sight in real life, it is only a fantasy that can be seen in movies and books. And don’t expect your relationship to be something more just after two or three dates, give yourself and your partner sometime to know each other and learn about each other.

Also read: 10 tips for Dating Indian Women

10. Be a cheapskate

Whenever you are going out making sure that you have taken enough money with you to cover for your expenses at least. Don’t expect your date to pay for everything that you do. Be cautious about it and have a happy time.

So, I hope this small guideline will come in handy whenever you think of pursuing online dating. I hope you enjoy your time and have fun!!

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